I Don't Understand

I don’t understand.

I don’t understand why you seem so on par with my thoughts and my mind 

and you seem so kind and help me unwind, and rewind in the right order

And i don’t think its fair that when face to face we can stare and converse, 

then away from the perverse eyes of people, we loose it and disperse to separate universes

And i don’t think its good, that i can’t tell you how i feel because i’m scared 

that you will recoil, and feel then a void and foil this relationship that simmers peacefully, never reaching the boil 

Am i dramatizing something that was never really there

Or never really existing, like chasing a hare on foot, 

And thinking i’ll catch it. And think that my speed will match its. 

Its fiction, theres no friction, just my mind, and my thoughts rubbing against each other

That the only thing thats here. 

And i will look, i will look, into your eyes, and then see your face when your not there in the skies

And one of these days i will have to say goodbye. I know this and I dread this. 

So I tell myself,

I tell myself that we can make amends and can corner these bends around society

And then the public, that we mingle in. 

You make me tingle inside, and help me unwind, and sometimes wind me up and up

Till i am about to snap. But then i recognize and relax from a little tap from you on my shoulder.

Crush me with a boulder, and smack me in the mouth till my teeth fall out. 

I will still talk. I will still talk about you. 

And me. 

And you. 

I don’t love you. I hate you. I hate you to the point that I can’t be without you. That i can’t help but notice you, walking in those blue jeans, and those tight seams. 

And then you see me it seems, and look the same way. 

The very same day. Everyday. 

I don’t know where this leads, and what i am trying to say

But i hope that one day, we can walk and talk, and then say “Yeah. What we have is good”

“I have you, and it feels good.”