#4

I’m sitting here and hearing,

From one the mind is silent steering, 

abseiling down this steep rock mountain,

cutting, bruising knees and bleeding.

Telling me its weird and not right,

fighting then flipping and delighting over winks and tripe

and somehow making it all ok with one face 

and one change of mood directed at me. 

I’m standing now and breathing, 

Thumbs are going on and on,

Trying to smooth it out 

and polyfill the surface of this certain subject, ironing it out.

Saying sorry and believing that with one word ‘buddy’ or ‘mate’,

a scale of equality will be level to the ones that use those sayings every day. 

I don’t want to be the weirdo and the one who goes o t t and you hate because of it

So i’ll stand here and breath and roll over and see what changes come over.

Forget it, just forget it,

Let me work it out my own way, 

Back off further for another day, and find a way to replicate 

the guys you seem so close to. 

Just want to be a friend like the ones I see you with, 

If thats too much to ask then let me know, 

And if not then fine, i’ll go.